Reply III

Choice n.

1. The act of choosing; selection.
2. The power, right, or liberty to choose; option.

I both agree and disagree with your point about choice. Boy, that does sound like a politician waffling doesn’t it? I think that your comments about choice is to broad, that it is the same as applying ‘homeless’ as a label to what is in fact a very broad and diverse group of individuals.

I would not say that many of the homeless are in that state because they chose homelessness, but as a result of bad choices. I know that sounds like hair splitting but I honestly believe it is an important consideration in choosing how you approach dealing with people’s situations. Behind a person’s homelessness lies a path of choices, generally bad choices leading to the person’s current state of being homeless. If we just say they chose to be homeless there is little chance we can help them get themselves back together. We need to look at all the bad choices they made in order to understand what steps they need to take to start to get themselves back. For you are right there is nothing I, you, we all can do if the person we are trying to help has not made the choice to change (how many physiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the light bulb really has to want to change).

I am going to cite the hooker point you raised. I do not imagine to many of the ‘ladies of the evening’ said to themselves “what do I want to do with my life? I know I will be a hooker”. A friend of mine worked with one or the current ‘ladies’ and knows her story. She fell in love, got badly hurt, turned to drugs to easy the pain, became addicted, became unreliable, lost her job, and turned to prostitution to feed her habit. She did not directly choose to be a hooker. A series of bad choices led to this point in her life. But in trying to do anything for her, focusing on her needing to choose not to be a hooker would not accomplish anything. She needs to get off the drugs and to do that she needs to address the issues/pain that led here, since if you got her clean but did not address the reason(s) for the drug use she will just start making bad choices because of the unresolved issues.

Still, you are right, it is all about CHOICE. The question then becomes: how do or what is needed to get them to make better choices?

One point I feel I must make and I expect you will disagree with is the idea that addiction is a choice. In dealing with the left over ‘isms from my upbringing in an alcoholic household I have come to realize that addiction is a disease. A form of insanity. Or perhaps you can explain what sane person would do to themselves what alcoholics and drug addicts do. It is treatable and many people are successfully recovering from this disease. I suppose that what convinced me that it is a disease is that as I dealt with (continue to deal with) my mental health issues I found just how many of the ‘isms of alcoholism I had caught or been passed as a result of my childhood. Something that can be passed through and down families is a disease. It may not be the flu, but like the flu exposure to a family member with the disease can pass it to you. But you are correct that there is choice involved. I have chosen to deal with these ‘isms, as painful as that is at times. And in order for alcoholics and addicts to begin to recover they must make that choice, the choice to recovery.

As I have noted Street Hope has been evicted. So they have changed, they are still going to minister to the homeless and those in need but with a different approach. Getting out there, get to know the individuals, their needs and address those issues that stand in their way to getting better. My understanding is that the idea is to reduce the excuses until they are left facing ‘The Choice’. Since the individual must make a personal choice anything that brings them to face making a choice is useful. I suspect it will be necessary to cycle through making the choice several times until the person is ready to stop making bad choices.

But society as a whole has a part to play in this, a choice to make and yes it requires money be spent. Connected to the idea of choice is the concept of ready vs. not ready. Ready to make a choice, to seek treatment vs. not ready to chose, unwilling to seek treatment. We need to invest in those who are ready to choose and want to seek treatment. I know someone (actually more than one) who has an addiction (hard not to when know addicts when homeless oneself – tends to give you a different view of the problem) and had made a good choice and was seeking help. He was upbeat, hopeful and headed for treatment – had a spot in two weeks. I saw him on the day he was scheduled to enter treatment, stoned and back into the cycle of addiction. My personal observations are that we are dealing with people so change is a fact of life. There seems to be decision points were individuals are ready to seek help and choose to get straight. Those that are fortunate in the timing so that they get into a program RIGHT THEN do much better (with people you will never get 100% success) than those who are told “later, wait, no beds, not room”. I have seen far to many who were told they had to wait miss the ‘window of opportunity’ and fall back into making bad choices.

YES! “Why are people homeless - 20% mental illness, 30% drug and alcohol issue, 30% lack of education, 20% plain hard luck (Toronto Sun)”.

Both the mathematician and accountant in me appreciate the figures provided. One of the biggest frustrations I have with the current system of social assistance in this province and the City of Abbotsford is that it only sees, and thus focuses on, the drug and alcohol portion of the homeless. Which does nothing for the other groups. It is also very important to keep in mind that each of these segments is made up of different people with different needs. There are major differences in the support and services that different mental illnesses need. One of my major desires is to get the public and especially those making and implementing policy to realize the need for the flexibility to address the different needs of the many different individuals that make up the group labeled “homeless”. We need policy choices that address the diversity of the needs. We need policies that offer choices to those who wish to get up and out.

I admit my own ignorance here. I had not realized 20% was the result of plain hard luck. But this group should be the most helpable, a job to replace the lost one, a little extra funding for shelter (some kind of housing subsidy) until the cash flow from the new job smoothes out and they should be well on their way back. BUT they do not get thet in a system aimed at those who have addictions or wish to abuse the system.

20% mental illness. That shameful statistic is in keeping with my observations – it may be even higher in BC as a result of the policy change made years ago to “integrate” the mentally ill more into the community. They failed to put any safety measures in and these poor citizens just began to slip through the cracks until they ended up homeless and wandering the streets. How can they make any kind of good choices that would get them out of homelessness when most are incapable of making any kind of rational choice at all? I make a joke about myself – I am considered somewhat weird/different by many of my fellow homeless – “don’t blame me, I just do what the voices in my head tell me to”. But think about mental illness and how it renders you incapable of making good choices. What does it say about our society that we currently have abandoned this 20% to the streets?

Laugh. I had planned to ask you about mental illness in arguing about choice. I landed in my current position when my mind abandoned me. I did not choose to have panic attacks when the phone rang, to cower in my condo when someone knocked on the front door, to have days were I could not walk out that front door, to gain weight as a result of to much take-out and not enough health foods, on those days I could get out the door to make dozens of trips back to make sure I had locked it – even if it meant I wasted the better part of an hour on this pointless activity or a three day anxiety attack over a simple choice between a 20 or 24 inch television to replace my old one. I would not wish that on anyone and would certainly not have made it a personal choice. My GREAT LUCK was that I had enough resources left to get healthy enough so that when it all hit the fan I could deal with matters and continue to get healthy and to get my life back into some semblance of order. But I also concede that there was and is a great deal of choice involved, especially as I am healthy enough at this point to make good choices. I am also fortunate that I have managed to build a support system of good mental practices and people to help keep me real and in making good choices.

As is so often the case with complex issues and more so those that involve people we are both right on the question of choice. ME: It is usually a series of bad choices, not just one that leads to homelessness and addiction. For some it is not a matter of choice that they fell into this mess (mental illness chooses you, I certainly would not have chosen it). We need to understand the series of bad choices if we want to help set up good choices. YOU: That ultimately it is a matter of personal choice. That there is nothing that can be done for those who continually choose to make bad choices and refuse to change. Those I have watched get their lives together did so because they choose to. I am and will get it all together because I so choose. A major part of addressing the issues of homelessness and addiction is CHOICE..

Just remember that it is not just choice on the part of the homeless, mentally ill or drug addicted. What our society, our citizens choose to do is equally important. Will you insist that policies be changed to stop causing problems and rather address the needs and issues? Are you willing to stand up and say “Yes, we need to address this issue”? Are you willing to reach out and help when an opportunity presents itself that your actions will have a positive effect on somebody’s life? If we all just think about it are there not many small actions that can be taken that would produce beneficial results in many lives? How can people complain about how society is deteriorating while ignoring the misery on the very streets of their City?

“Unless someone like you cares an awful lot,
Nothing is going to get better.
Its not.”
DR. Seuss

Comment I

Anonymous said...

My brother is in Abby and finds it is very Church oriented and people look at him (has MH issues) as if he is dirt. He has tons of brains, but he rambles, is on meds, and is very thin.

With the way Society has changed into the "me" oriented world we live in - there is neither time nor patience to deal with those we do not have to deal with.

Those on Social Assistance cannot possibly make it - no matter the restricted budget they try to live on. If you smoke or on medication, you sacrifice food for the "cigarettes" or "medicine" that in some cases is not covered by MSP.

In this world it seems it is easier to "Brag" on those you help in a 3rd world country, but scorn to help in your own neighbourhood.

For shame!

Reply II

I best keep this brief lest I be accused of grandiloquence.


1. Thank you for the “you write very well”. I am trying to get my words out there – NO – I will get the words out there..

2. Misunderstanding. The stepping stone to understanding.

3. long winded. Guilty. But you must accept some responsibility for it was your comments and questions that ‘pulled’ that long response from me. I suppose if you want a short reply … write a stupid letter, not one that raises interesting thoughts/points.

4. “run for politics”. I realize that in any discussion of complex and emotional issues that it is possible to touch a nerve and provoke an unexpectedly extreme reaction. But to go so far as to associate politics and politicians with me is abusive, unconscionable and borders on libel. As you noted I have passion and a stand on this issue – a desire to address the issue and take actions thought-out and designed to accomplish something. Not to mention a willingness to take a stand on other important but contentious issues. Equating me with politics – blasphemous.

The question WAS and IS about the kind of world you want to bequeath the next generation. Your actions, mine, those of your neighbours, business associates, friends are what shape our society. How often have you heard others complain about how our society is deteriorating? They ignore the fact that their actions shape the society.

The point I was trying to make was that if we want to change or ‘improve’ our society/world we have to look to our own actions. We are society, it is a reflection of all our actions. Sitting around complaining will not lead to a ‘better’ society. If we want a better society it is up to us to put in the ‘better’. Small acts of manners, kindness, caring and compassion will all help in developing a ‘better’ world.

So … Let me try again here. Children grow up and go out into the world. When the time comes what kind of world/society do you want them to find? The kind where everyone lives behind lock doors, walks down the street nervously and if they run into trouble are left to live/die/survive on their own? Where people leave someone lying there in need of medical help as they walk around the body. Or where the first person stops and summons help.

Society is a reflection/result of our collective actions. If we want to have a better society it is up to us to make our actions more positive and helpful. Or stop complaining about how bad society is getting as one walks around the person huddled under an awning – homeless, hungry, cold – a fellow human being.

Sorry, passion got loose and it got a little long. Let the homeless situation sit in the back of your mind and if an interesting idea bubbles up, make sure it gets out into the discussion.

Thanks for giving me things to think about and consider

JWB

Reply I

I do not recall calling any of the citizens jerks? But I am glad you acknowledge that I am a fellow citizen.

"I could play the PITY ME CARD too, but this would be ridiculous". Up to this point in your letter it certainly sounds as though you are crying for pity, or perhaps that should be crying in SELF PITY. I do not care about your big house, thoughtless driving of a gas wasting SUV or your whining about paying taxes of "what most people make in a salary job". Let me just say I would not be boasting about having a vehicle that wastes enough "gas in a week to make some people broke" while whining about being poor and unwilling to help those in need.

I have it good in Abbotsford because I could get killed in Vancouver? My what logic, what a nice society you want. I have always acknowledged others property rights. Go back and read it again. The point was not that it was not their property to do with as they wish; the point was that it was idiotic to cut down the bush, force them out and THEN COMPLAIN about them sleeping on the streets. I question your business sense if you cannot grasp the concept of considering the consequences of your actions - before you take the actions. Personally, as you can clearly see from my writings, I favour keeping what your goal is in mind while you are formulating policy, that tends to ensure you get the results you want. As opposed to taking an action and complaining about the outcome when any sensible person (or people not blinded by their preconceived notions of reality) could see what would happen. I am planning to pay my share of taxes - with an open and understanding heart. And before we get into a rant/argument on taxes read the opening of the Homeless in Abbotsford site, the white letters on the blue background. Read more of my postings carefully and you will find that I am saying your taxes are currently being wasted by the city to accomplish nothing. To me it seems obvious that if you are spending $$$ anyway, one might as well spend the $$$ intelligently and achieve some positive results.

A job? "do not have an education or have mental illness". Yes I have a mental illness but at this point it is the stigma of the illness not the illness itself that is the problem. Truth be known, with all the work I have done, all the work I continue to do and all the good mental health practices I practice I am not only a far better, happier person today but much better as a colleague or co-worker. Your citing education sounds as if you think I lack sufficient education (if I am wrong in this regard I do apologize). In keeping with one of those things I 'bitch' about, you and the public like to look at the homeless and see what you want to see - not what is. By this I mean you look at the BLOG but fail to see the education reflected in the words and language; the creativity/learning/thought in the use of the BLOG; the focus, work and passion in building and maintaining this BLOG.

Aside: I started a new job in January at Stream in Chilliwack but got sick. Not flu sick but, if you had not got in here you would be dead sick. Three weeks 21/2 hours twice a day IV antibiotics, surgery to clean out the poison and insert a drain tube and now I am battling the reaction to the antibiotic - it was effective but has toxic properties. Oh, and the job? Well they phoned just as I was heading for surgery to fire me. Sent me a letter about excessive absenteeism. Personally as an employer I never would have considered anyemployee of mine dealing with a life threatening illness to be guilty of "excess absenteeism" just good common sense.

About your experiences. I am torn between slapping you up side the head and laughing. To slap you I would speak of the generosity of spirit of the person who keeps giving chances - knowing most will fail. Or that you are upset at failing to succeed in creating in those you 'helped' what you wanted them to be.

Honesty compels me to laugh and shake my head. I am disappointed not to have received more letters from the public - especially like yours which raise points and questions that need to be addressed and debated. And I love a good debate, writing and words. Ideas are what we need to begin to chip away at this situation. Your reading of psychology suggests that you have some idea that we are not talking a drug or a homelessness problem but a PEOPLE problem. The reason for the chagrined laugh is that I have got a lot of interesting feedback from people who work with the disadvantaged. Now how is that for 'spin'? Back to the point which is: I had this conversation earlier today. You wanted to help, you could provide a job and because of the current system you had to play Russian Roulette in choosing whom to help.

No you do not ask me ... well only in that I would put you in touch or liaise between you and C or R or W who because of their close contact and knowledge would significantly increase the chances of a successful 'match'. As in business, if in doing your research for a project, you cannot find the answers find the person who can (comes out of my consultant period) rather than just toss the dice and hope - with people to much of a chance of throwing snake eyes. I acknowledge negativity, but most of it is generated by frustration. With thought and planning the resources currently wasted and the help available from the community could accomplish so much, instead of the current policies/actions that just create more problems and misery.

Of course I am still reading - the issue is too important not to be still reading.


“Will getting a job totally turn you around?” I have no idea what you mean by this. Several of your statements/questions make me wonder if you have assumed I have a drug or alcohol problem Outside of the occasional (single) cold beer on a hot day I do not drink and I have no need or use for recreational drugs. As an Adult Child of Alcoholism my ‘isms were acquired being raised in an alcoholic household. Part of my mental health cleaning was to begin the process of dealing with these old wounds and bad thought patterns. I want a job to be able to afford a place to live, shelter from the elements. Electric lights, access to laundry facilities, music, bathroom and a shower are all nice luxuries but Shelter is a dream to be pursued. To expect a job to “totally turn you around” is so … words fail me in trying to express how ridiculous the concept is. Self knowledge, hard work on mental health, group and supportive friends are what allows one to grow as a person, in soul and spirit.

You can have no idea of how much I have changed, although I suppose I could get affidavits? Actually changed is the wrong tense as it implies a finished process and I continue to be a work in progress. As I said in the Aside it has been a rotten start to the year, it is only my acceptance of there being a purpose this has happened that allows me to continue to move forward. That illness is a major part of the path that led to the letter that led to the article, that led to your letter, that led to this (and other) letters. You are not the first to suggest recently that the blog become a book. but it took mental illness, homelessness and much mental health work to set the writer locked inside me free.

Good suggestions. But I kind of get a good laugh out of #1, considering my name was all over the front page of the News as homeless. Consider this - I knew when I sent the letter signed with my name I was standing naked as to my being homeless. I have become mentally healthy enough and comfortable enough in my own skin to stand up and be counted among the homeless. I have no plans to surrender (I have not begun to fight; damn the torpedoes full speed ahead). Laugh. I had planned to give you the old TRY, TRY Again line in regards to helping those in need - just remember that insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. No, the change needed is not your proposed approach but getting in touch with those who can help raise the odds of a positive outcome (HEY, with people nothing is ever sure).

Speaking of helping I direct you attention to the posting titled the Lady J on the Homeless in Abbotsford Blog. Last evening I split some blankets between some people who had lost their bedding. This morning I passed along a tent to someone else. Courtesy of someone who read the article. A tent and blankets he did not need or use and those people were helped. One of the things I am frustrated is with a phone. Hard to accomplish much or find a job without a phone. One person has offered to help out. No, I do not want money from him. When you crash and burn due to deep depression, agoraphobia, obsessive/compulsive behaviours, anxiety and panic attacks your credit suffers. In a cruel twist of fate I can manage the payments for a cell phone plan, but no credit = no plan. On pay as you go you need to buy the phone and pay first a total of $200 you need up front. I will have a phone in a day or two one way or another as someone else assured me she would put her credit card on the line to allow me to sign up for a plan. No money needed, just a helping hand and a willingness to help. I wonder what I will accomplish with communications access? Look – no – see what can be accomplished by small acts of generosity in the right place. As Archimedes said – give me the correctly placed fulcrum and a lever of sufficient length and I will move the world.

I need to end soon or half of the proposed novel will be written here but as regards "stereotypical rich bugger". If the past year or two has taught me anything it is that there is no stereotypical anything when dealing with human beings.

Finally ask yourself what kind of world do you want to live in and hand on to the next generation?


James W Breckenridge



After thoughts:

Kissing ass for a job. NAH! That is not my nature. But there was temptation to write in such an apologist manner as to ‘encourage’ a job from you. That would not be true to whom I am growing to be nor to the passion that I feel for these issues. I was relieved by your statement that you are not hiring since in saying what I have I am not depriving someone I know (or could find) of an employment opportunity.

Volunteer. It does not have to be with the homeless, although that would give you a chance to see just how wide and varied a group of people are lumped together under the “homeless’ heading. And yes I volunteer. At this point my time is all I have to give to my community. I love to swim so I volunteer with the Special Olympics swim team. Is there something you love to do that you could share with others? The thing about the Special Olympics is they put life into its proper prospective.

Thank you for stimulating my thoughts. It is my firm belief that we need ideas, innovative ideas to begin to achieve anything. It is through discussions such as these e-mails that these Ideas can be developed. As the slogan I liked when doing consulting :


“Answers are easy. It is asking the right questions that is hard.”

JWB